29 Jan 2017: Simon Benham - Gender Identity

Simon Benham

29th Jan 2017

Headlines: Sex & Identity – Gender Identity

You may or may not be familiar with the acronym LGBTI – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex.  We’ve spoken about a Christian view on Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual minorities before, so this sermon will focus on the ‘T’ and ‘I’ -transgender and Intersex.

What do they mean? Here are some dictionary definitions:

·         Transgender: denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with birth sex.

·         Intersex: relating to or denoting a person or animal that has both male and female sex organs or other sexual characteristics (i.e. it is not clear whether a person is biologically male or female).

Gender identity makes the headlines on a regular basis, and sometimes the people questioning or changing their identity are not at all whom we might expect.  For example, two who we would think of as real “men’s men”:

·         Bruce Jenner, an American television personality and retired Olympic gold medal-winning decathlete has undergone surgery and is now Kaitlyn Jenner.

·        Boxing promoter Frank Maloney underwent gender reassignment and now lives as a woman called Kellie Maloney

In the US there have been recent disputes triggered by the policy of a national retailer called Target.  Target said it would allow transgender visitors to its stores to use the bathroom and fitting room that best aligned with that person's gender identity. Others were not happy with that policy; in reaction to it, several states legislated to enforce restroom use according to birth sex, which in turn led to celebrities such as Bruce Springsteen refusing to perform in these states. 

Teachers in some US schools now encourage students to think of sexuality as a spectrum: where are you on the arc from male to female?

  For some, particularly the older generation, this is a difficult topic to face – comments such as “yuk” “unclean”, "won’t come to church if this topic is mentioned"; youngsters may be more ‘cool’ with it – “so what” “live out who you are”.  Why are we talking about this in church?  Because the issues we see in the US will come here, and if the church does not teach on it then the world will.

In a recent inter-church leaders meeting that Simon was part of, these issues have already started to emerge:

·         Should a person who cross-dresses be allowed to use the ladies loo?  The person in question wants to, other ladies at the church are less happy.

·         How does one counsel someone going for gender reconstruction surgery?

For a Biblical view, let’s pull back to the big picture – the story of humankind in four acts – Creation, Fall, Rescue and Glory

Creation

Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”  So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. (Gen 1:26-27)

From this we understand that:

·         Everyone is a masterpiece, made in the image of God.  Everyone has worth and value.

·         Gods pattern is binary – male/female.  Why?

o   Because we’re incomplete on our own

o   We were created for community

o   God is only fully represented when both male- and female-ness is present.  Ephesians 5:23 makes the comparison most directly: “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour”.

Fall

Genesis 3:6-7. The disobedience -putting SELF at the centre rather than God. The Fall has affected everything – letting sin in.  Sin is a force polluting the whole of the world.

Simon was entrusted with control of the washing machine, when Zak was born, under strict instructions to separate the whites from the colours.  And he did - except for one tiny red sock.  Unfortunately, the white shirts couldn’t purge the red sock of its colour; instead, that one sock coloured everything pink in the wash.

Just like that sock, sin corrupts everything.  Bodies age, wear out, get diseased. Relationships are broken.  The distinction between male and female is not what it was. Consider Jesus’ words in Matthew 19.  He is discussing divorce, but along the way he says “there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven” (v12).  In the beginning, there was just male and female – but now there are eunuchs, some born, some made, some by choice – and there is a tension between God’s intent in creation, and the present reality which we have to live with. This is really how it is.

Rescue

God saw the mess, the pollution caused by sin, and he knew it needed to be corrected by an external intervention – a saviour. Jesus came to rescue all people – male, female, and eunuchs too.  “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace” (Eph 1:7).  He made a way for the power of sin to be eradicated, and for people to be able to start a new life – and we all need to be rescued.

As part of the rescue, Jesus, the Son of God, became something he was not – for us.  “And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death-- even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:8).

We live, and sometimes struggle, with that disconnect too.  The Bible assures us we are “more than conquerors” – but we don’t always feel that way.

Glory

Our hope is truly glorious:

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.  I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Rev 21:1-4)

These tensions, these disconnects will pass.  We look forward to a time when we are truly as God intended. Resurrection bodies, all restored to Gods original plan.

Practicalities

How can we apply this big picture to our situation?

There are books which offer a wise perspective:

·         “Transgender”, by Vaughan Roberts

·         “Understanding Gender Dysphoria: Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture” by Mark Yarhouse.

And there is wisdom to offer. 

·         Are you directly affected?

o   Don’t let it be a lonely struggle.  We love you, and we want to help.

o   Don’t let it define you. Your identity in Christ makes you you.

·         Beware an assumption that the mind is superior to the body (a viewpoint something that finds its roots in the rationalism of the enlightenment, not in the Bible).  In the US, there is a tendency to rush to change the body to match what the mind says, even for children – but 80% of potential transgender youths change their mind about themselves before adulthood.

·         The principle of a ‘peachy community’ soft on the outside, easy to enter. All are welcome here.  Remember that one of the earliest converts was a eunuch, and he became a Christian through God’s direct intervention (see Acts 8:26-40).

·         Everyone is a masterpiece, but in this fallen world, everyone is flawed.  The big question for each of us is “what does God want me to be?”  The Bible doesn’t say ‘follow your heart’, it says ‘guard your heart”.  We are called to be in Gods image, and called to follow Him even when it is hard.

·         There is a huge range of expectations between what we think of as male/female. Parents – don’t panic if you have a budding male ballet dancer/Billy Elliot or a footy mad daughter – embrace differences and teach them a Christian perspective of love and goodness

Finally, beware of a world agenda that considers the traditional thoughts of what male/female really are as being old fashioned. This is not what the Bible teaches – we need to hold onto this.

God loves each of us, whatever our gender identity. We all need to receive his love and to be rescued.

22nd Jan 2017 - The Sexualisation of the Media

The Sexualisation Of The Media

Preached by Heather Pocock 22/01/2017.

Notes and questions by Jon Hulme.

This is part of our “Headlines” series looking at what Jesus says about issues in our media.

Sexualisation in our culture

We live in a hugely sexualised culture.  TV, films, billboards, magazines, video games, and the internet push the boundaries of what is sexually appropriate just in order to sell products.  “Fifty Shades of Grey” is one of the best-selling novels of our decade.  Our culture is saturated by sexualisation.  It is imposed on us whether we want it or not.  This applies to both adults and children. 

On X-Factor, the girl band “Little Mix” made the headlines in October for wearing stripper and prostitute outfits, and there were many complaints from parents.  High Street stores are increasingly selling girls clothes with high heel shoes, padded bras, tops with sexual messages, make up, and sexualised dolls.

Heather’s degree was in childhood and youth studies.  One of the things she looked at was the impact of the media on children and youth, and did a case study on Disney princesses which have become increasingly sexualised over the last 80 years.  Even Disney’s Merida from “Brave” (2012), initially an alternative non-sexualised role model for girls, has recently had a more sexualised make-over in the merchandise.  Girls’ aspirations are no longer to be teachers, nurses or vets, but rather models, dancers and celebrities.

The harm of sexualisation

People ask whether this sexualisation does any harm.  When studying this subject, Heather found that there is a wide range and breadth of issues that result.  Sexualisation in our media promotes the message that the most valuable thing about a person is their appearance.  Often the images we see have been photo-shopped to give a fake and unreal standard of attractiveness.  All this leads to men and women feeling ashamed and insecure about the way they look, leading to higher levels of depression, low self-esteem, and eating disorders.  This message also leads to physical disorders e.g. crash dieting, and to increasing plastic surgery. 

Sexualisation of the media also leads to poor sexual health with one night stands, unprotected sex, and violent and abusive sex.  Relational problems also develop where people are seen as objects to fulfil desire rather than unique and valuable people with real lives.

The porn industry is a multi-billion pound industry which is linked to increased levels of prostitution, sexual exploitation, trafficking, sexual violence, child abuse and paedophilia.  The stats show that pornography leads to marriage and relationship breakdown, addiction, unrealistic expectations in finding a partner, and to poor sex lives.

The average age that a child comes across porn is 10, with many at a lower age.  97% of children have a smart phone, tablet or computer and typically come across porn without looking for it via a popup or on screen advert.  50% of children encounter porn because they are shown it by another child on that child’s device.  Curiosity means they then search for it.  Older children and teenagers often use porn for sex education, from which they form their values and standards of normal behaviour.

What does Jesus say?

1.       Jesus wants children protected from being led into sin

Jesus says “If anyone causes one of these little ones – those who believe in me – to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung round their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!” (Mt 18 v 6-7).

This is strong language; children being protected from sin matters to God.

We, and especially parents, must not have a lax attitude when it comes to filtering what we allow our children to access and watch.

Question

The questions below are designed for sharing in a mixed group.  However, you could choose to split up men/women to discuss.  Please be pastorally sensitive.

If you have children, how do you protect them from sexualised media?

If your children have grown up, how did you protect them?

If you don’t have children, how did your parents protect you?

2.       Jesus wants us to deal drastically with things that tempt us to sin

Jesus says “If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire.  And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell” (Mt 18 v 6-7). 

Again Jesus does not mince his words.  As adults the main problem we have is with sexual lust, which Jesus says is sin (Mt 5 v 28).  We must cut out anything that causes us to lust: TV, websites, apps, films, DVDs, video games, social media, books, magazines.  Whatever it is, we need to cut it out.  We need to be radical and not lax in getting rid of the things that cause us temptation.

Question

Do you have any personal stories, appropriate to share in your group, of things you have done to avoid sexual temptation in the media?

3.       We must have a positive biblical view of sexuality

The bible says to flee from sexual sin (1 Cor 6 v 18), it does not say to flee from sex.  Sex in the context of marriage is not shameful, or to be avoided, but rather is a gift from God to be enjoyed. 

We need to teach our children that sex is a wonderful and good gift for use in marriage.  Children are forming their sexuality from a very early age, and we need to engage with them to teach them a positive and healthy biblical view, so that they do not rely on the media, friends, teachers or Google!  We need to be the first, not the last to talk to them about sex, and to have on-going open conversation where sex is talked about as situations and questions arise.  The easiest way to do to this is to pick up on the things you see with your children in the media, and talk about them.  This will help them later in marriage not to bring guilt or shame into the bedroom.

We need to teach children how to deal with pornography when they inevitably see it.  Explain what it is in advance (photos or videos of people without clothes on) and why watching it is damaging.  Ask them about people’s characters and feelings so that they do not see people as objects.  Remind them that many people in the sex photos and videos are trapped and that there is a dark world behind it.

Question

How free were you to talk about sex in your family when you grew up?

What impact did that have on you?

4.       Being in the world, but not of the world

Jesus prayed “My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.” (Jn 15 v 17).  We are not called to hide away from the world, and in today’s society it is simply not possible to hide from all sexualised media.  We are called to protect ourselves, and our children, from the dangers that come from the sexualised media and its messages.

Paul says “test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil” (1 Thes 5 v 21 ESV).  We must test and distinguish between good and bad representation of sex in the media, rejoice in the good but abstain from following the bad.

Paul says ‘“I have the right to do anything,” you say – but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”– but not everything is constructive.’ (1 Cor 10 v 23).  As we test the messages we get from the media, we must be careful to decide whether they are biblical and should be accepted and followed or not.  If it causes sin or lust we must cut it out.  Even if something is not actually sinful it may not individually be helpful for us; it may tempt us in an area in which we are weak, and so again we must cut it out.

Question

Can you think of some positive representations of sex in the media?

5.       Being free from the guilt of sexual sin

It is extremely difficult to navigate this world without falling short of God’s standards and failing sexually in some way or other.  The Bible reminds us that we all fall short of God’s standards and sin (Rom 3 v 23).  We will all have looked at something we shouldn’t have or lusted in some way.  Some of us will have turned a blind eye to what our children are watching, or gone too far in a relationship, engaged with porn, betrayed people, had secret lives, had affairs, hurt people or done things we regret.

Satan is our accuser and taunts us with our past mistakes (Rev 12 v 10).  But Jesus promises that if we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us and cleanse us (1 Jn 1 v 9).  When we think about forgiveness we may feel like saying “But you have no idea what I have done!”  But God says to us “You have no idea what I have done!”  He died a horrific death on the cross to bear our sins, to take our punishment, and to make us clean.

Having confessed our sin, like Paul ‘the chief of sinners’, we must forget the past and press forward in our amazing journey with God (Phil 3 v 13).

Question:

Where in your life do you have a guilty conscience – relating to sexuality or not? 

Silently confess you sins, and believe that He is faithful and just and will forgive your sins.

15 JAN 2017. THEME - HEADLINES: MENTAL HEALTH. SIMON BENHAM

SMALL GROUP NOTES FROM SUNDAY 15 JANUARY 2017. THEME - HEADLINES: MENTAL HEALTH. SIMON BENHAM

The message began with a video listing various quotes about the problems of mental health in today's society including Theresa May's comments from just last week. If Simon puts these online, they are well worth looking at.

Mental health problems are often accentuated in the church context. We are 'new creations' so everything should be sorted, except that isn't the case. Simon's aim is to remove stigma, and have honest and open conversations. Unlike physical health problems, mental health problems cannot be seen - they are hidden. They include depression, anxiety, phobias, OCD, PTSD, eating disorders, self-harming, suicidal thoughts, bi-polar disorder, schizophrenia et al.

Simon drew on the biblical character of Elijah to raise various points. The context of the story was Jezebel being a bad influence on her husband Ahab, King of Israel. She worshipped Baal and expected everyone else to do so too. The prophet Elijah pronounced that there would be no rain until he spoke the word. He then hid in the Kerith ravine where God provided food and water. After 3 years of drought, Elijah re-appears to Ahab and there is a face-off between him and the 450 prophets of Baal. Only Elijah is able to call down fire for the sacrifice; and the drought comes to an end with heavy rain. The prophets of Baal were all slaughtered.

QUESTION: How would you expect Elijah to feel after such success?

READ: 1 Kings 19:1-18.

Elijah actually went from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. He was afraid and ran away, praying that he might die. Simon spoke of his own time of feeling very low. Mental health problems can affect anyone. Winston Churchill for instance, who described the 'black dog' of depression.

The beginning of healing is to admit the problem; to myself, to God, to those around me. We can only run and be in denial for so long.

QUESTION: How did God respond to Elijah in the passage we just read?

He showed kindness to Elijah. He doesn't just tell him to get a grip, but cooks him a meal, provides for him. Remember how Jesus did something similar for Simon Peter? With a fish BBQ. We must learn to be kind to ourselves, and kind to those who are struggling. Don't try to fix it. Simon said 'I want this to be a kind place'.

QUESTION: Take a few minutes in quiet to ask ourselves what our personal response could be?

Simon then went on to consider some of the causes of mental health problems. Remember the Shalom circle from last week?

HEALTH. Physical health affects mental health. A sedentary lifestyle, a dependence on social media/email/smart phones etc are very detrimental on mental health. God brings good sleep, good food, and exercise to release good stuff into our brains. It is essential to find rhythm, take quality time to stop - be still - every day.

FINANCIAL/EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES can affect mental health. READ Romans 8:20-21. For some, this affects mental health and requires medical intervention. Healing via a doctor is not 2nd class healing. Only 20% of depression is chemical based, 80% is circumstantial. Finances are often a cause of stress. If this affects you, consider seeking help from CAP. If materialism is an issue for you, practise generosity.

RELATIONSHIPS. Elijah isolated himself, thinking everyone was against him. A better response would be to deliberately place ourselves into community. Consider also the power of resolving broken relationships and conflict. You could read Matthew 18 next week to hear Jesus' advice on how to do this. Forgiveness is essential. Confrontation may be necessary too.

SPIRITUAL. Elijah has an encounter with God. It did not come in the mighty wind, or the earthquake, or the fire - but in the gentle whisper, the still small voice. We need to put ourselves in a place where we can have an encounter with God, often not a spectacular encounter - but a place where we can hear His still small voice. READ 1 Peter 5:7. Simon stressed the power of spending time alone with God. READ Matthew 6:5-7; this is Jesus stressing the same thing.

QUESTION: Pause for a few minutes silence and consider how you might put this into practice? Where and when can I find a place to do this?

One suggestion from Simon was to book the prayer room for an hour. Share what other ideas came from the few minutes you just spent in silence.

Simon spoke of the importance of knowing our identity in God; our value, that we are loved, that God is pleased with me.

Simon finished by reading Psalm 42 over us, then leaving a minute of complete silence. If you have time, do the same thing as a group.

We finished with the song 'It is well with my soul' - the line which struck me was 'Through it all my eyes are on you'. A take-home question could be to ask what are my eyes fixed on?

8th Jan 2017 Headlines: Brexit - Simon Benham

Headlines: Brexit - Simon Benham

8th Jan 2017

Headlines: Brexit

2016 was the ‘year of the unexpected’: Leicester won the Premiership, the UK voted for Brexit, and the US voted for Trump.

So what does Brexit mean? Not even the Queen seems to know, and Teresa May isn’t saying.  Not knowing may leave us with a feeling of insecurity.  It can create divisions– will Andy Murray be “ours” if Scotland go it alone? It doesn’t help when we look across the Atlantic and see the Twitters from Trump, who seems amongst other things to prefer to find Russian president Vladimir Putin more trustworthy than fellow Americans Barack Obama and the head of the CIA.

And what does our faith say into this?  Is it “Nothing”, or do we “Just hunker down and it’ll all be OK”?

Jesus was born amidst significant political events:

“In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.)”  (Luke 2:1-2)

And he had more in common with Caesar Augustus than you might expect.

·         Both were adopted –Augustus by Julius Caesar, Jesus by Joseph.

·         Both share titles:

o   Julius Caesar had himself declared divine, and so Caesar Augustus was known as “son of the god”.  Jesus, of course, is “Son of God”

o   Augustus inherited a Roman political system so well ordered that people felt that within the Roman Empire it marked the end of war.  This was the Pax Romana (peace in Rome), and Caesar Augustus was hailed as the ‘Prince of Peace”.  Sound familiar?  Compare it with this prophecy concerning Jesus:

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6)

In worrying times, all of us look somewhere for peace.  Where should we look to find it?

·        In a strong leader?

·        A political system?

·        Or Jesus?

Despite the similar titles, the nature of the peace on offer is very different.  At best, leaders and political systems offer the absence of war; Jesus’ peace is called Shalom, and Shalom is much deeper than just the absence of strife – its defined as “a universal flourishing”, “the webbing together of God, humans and creation”, “wholeness” “delight” and it flows from putting Jesus at the centre of everything.

So in uncertainty, when we look at events like Brexit, is it enough to say “God’s still in control, don’t worry?”

No.  The churches in pre-WW2 Germany did that as Hitler rose to power. Rwandan churches said little against the unrest that led to genocide in their country.  In Northern Ireland, atrocities were committed in the name of Jesus.

Tim Peak has published a book of photos of the earth seen from space.  By day, the impact of civilisation on the world is hardly visible, but at night, the lights of cities shine out. 

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16).

As Christians, we have Jesus to share – don’t hide Him! You are called to be light in darkness.

Evil flourishes when good people do nothing, so be active in fighting injustice, be a force for good wherever it’s found – for example:

·         In poverty, as Brexit fuels inflation and the poor suffer disproportionately

·         In creation, as Trump repudiates the Paris accord.

Our response is to be a voice for injustice, but it follows a different system to the world:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’  But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.  And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.  If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.  Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. (Matthew 5:38-42).

Turning the other cheek.  If a right-handed person hits the right cheek of other, they’re using the back of their hand – itself implying inferiority.  Offering the other cheek isn’t just a non-violent response – by making the striker use the front of their hand, it demands equal status. 

Not resisting evil.  “An eye for an eye” was a good rule intended to keep retaliation within the bounds of justice – but Jesus urges his followers to go further.  When people follow Jesus’ way, powerful things happen.

·         Gordon Wilson lost his daughter at Enniskillen to an IRA bomb, Wilson’s response to the bombing, “I bear no ill will. I bear no grudge”, was reported worldwide becoming among the most-remembered quotations from The Troubles.  Many IRA attacks usually resulted in reprisals by loyalist paramilitaries; Gordon Wilson’s calls for forgiveness and reconciliation came to be called the Spirit of Enniskillen.

·         Rosa Parkes, who in 1951 refused to obey an order to give up her seat on a bus for a white passenger, was the catalyst for a non-violent protest that some 300 days later forced the bus company to change its unjust rules.

Giving up your cloak.  In Jesus’ time, if someone took both shirt and cloak from another, that person would be left virtually naked – so the message here is that if someone is acting unjustly, make the injustice obvious to others.

Going the second mile.  By law, a Roman soldier could compel someone to carry their bags for a mile.  Carrying the bags for an extra mile shows the grace and kindness of God, above and beyond the law.

The Bible’s account of Jesus life shows him putting these principles into practice:

·         Telling humorous stories to challenge and change the world

·         Being beaten by others without seeking retaliation

·         Enduring unjust punishment without complaint.

So:

·         Find peace

·         Speak up to point out injustice

·         Be kind! This is often seen as insignificant but kindness is so vital e.g. serving for no payment, praying with someone – we are all challenge to be kind.

Jesus is not just about giving advice – he is Good News. Find peace in Him.