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Monday, 23 January 2017

22nd Jan 2017 - The Sexualisation of the Media

The Sexualisation Of The Media

Preached by Heather Pocock 22/01/2017.
Notes and questions by Jon Hulme.

This is part of our “Headlines” series looking at what Jesus says about issues in our media.

Sexualisation in our culture

We live in a hugely sexualised culture.  TV, films, billboards, magazines, video games, and the internet push the boundaries of what is sexually appropriate just in order to sell products.  “Fifty Shades of Grey” is one of the best-selling novels of our decade.  Our culture is saturated by sexualisation.  It is imposed on us whether we want it or not.  This applies to both adults and children. 

On X-Factor, the girl band “Little Mix” made the headlines in October for wearing stripper and prostitute outfits, and there were many complaints from parents.  High Street stores are increasingly selling girls clothes with high heel shoes, padded bras, tops with sexual messages, make up, and sexualised dolls.

Heather’s degree was in childhood and youth studies.  One of the things she looked at was the impact of the media on children and youth, and did a case study on Disney princesses which have become increasingly sexualised over the last 80 years.  Even Disney’s Merida from “Brave” (2012), initially an alternative non-sexualised role model for girls, has recently had a more sexualised make-over in the merchandise.  Girls’ aspirations are no longer to be teachers, nurses or vets, but rather models, dancers and celebrities.

The harm of sexualisation

People ask whether this sexualisation does any harm.  When studying this subject, Heather found that there is a wide range and breadth of issues that result.  Sexualisation in our media promotes the message that the most valuable thing about a person is their appearance.  Often the images we see have been photo-shopped to give a fake and unreal standard of attractiveness.  All this leads to men and women feeling ashamed and insecure about the way they look, leading to higher levels of depression, low self-esteem, and eating disorders.  This message also leads to physical disorders e.g. crash dieting, and to increasing plastic surgery. 

Sexualisation of the media also leads to poor sexual health with one night stands, unprotected sex, and violent and abusive sex.  Relational problems also develop where people are seen as objects to fulfil desire rather than unique and valuable people with real lives.

The porn industry is a multi-billion pound industry which is linked to increased levels of prostitution, sexual exploitation, trafficking, sexual violence, child abuse and paedophilia.  The stats show that pornography leads to marriage and relationship breakdown, addiction, unrealistic expectations in finding a partner, and to poor sex lives.

The average age that a child comes across porn is 10, with many at a lower age.  97% of children have a smart phone, tablet or computer and typically come across porn without looking for it via a popup or on screen advert.  50% of children encounter porn because they are shown it by another child on that child’s device.  Curiosity means they then search for it.  Older children and teenagers often use porn for sex education, from which they form their values and standards of normal behaviour.

What does Jesus say?


1.       Jesus wants children protected from being led into sin

Jesus says “If anyone causes one of these little ones – those who believe in me – to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung round their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!” (Mt 18 v 6-7).

This is strong language; children being protected from sin matters to God.
We, and especially parents, must not have a lax attitude when it comes to filtering what we allow our children to access and watch.

Question
The questions below are designed for sharing in a mixed group.  However, you could choose to split up men/women to discuss.  Please be pastorally sensitive.

If you have children, how do you protect them from sexualised media?
If your children have grown up, how did you protect them?
If you don’t have children, how did your parents protect you?


2.       Jesus wants us to deal drastically with things that tempt us to sin

Jesus says “If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire.  And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell” (Mt 18 v 6-7). 

Again Jesus does not mince his words.  As adults the main problem we have is with sexual lust, which Jesus says is sin (Mt 5 v 28).  We must cut out anything that causes us to lust: TV, websites, apps, films, DVDs, video games, social media, books, magazines.  Whatever it is, we need to cut it out.  We need to be radical and not lax in getting rid of the things that cause us temptation.

Question
Do you have any personal stories, appropriate to share in your group, of things you have done to avoid sexual temptation in the media?


3.       We must have a positive biblical view of sexuality

The bible says to flee from sexual sin (1 Cor 6 v 18), it does not say to flee from sex.  Sex in the context of marriage is not shameful, or to be avoided, but rather is a gift from God to be enjoyed. 

We need to teach our children that sex is a wonderful and good gift for use in marriage.  Children are forming their sexuality from a very early age, and we need to engage with them to teach them a positive and healthy biblical view, so that they do not rely on the media, friends, teachers or Google!  We need to be the first, not the last to talk to them about sex, and to have on-going open conversation where sex is talked about as situations and questions arise.  The easiest way to do to this is to pick up on the things you see with your children in the media, and talk about them.  This will help them later in marriage not to bring guilt or shame into the bedroom.

We need to teach children how to deal with pornography when they inevitably see it.  Explain what it is in advance (photos or videos of people without clothes on) and why watching it is damaging.  Ask them about people’s characters and feelings so that they do not see people as objects.  Remind them that many people in the sex photos and videos are trapped and that there is a dark world behind it.

Question
How free were you to talk about sex in your family when you grew up?
What impact did that have on you?


4.       Being in the world, but not of the world

Jesus prayed “My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.” (Jn 15 v 17).  We are not called to hide away from the world, and in today’s society it is simply not possible to hide from all sexualised media.  We are called to protect ourselves, and our children, from the dangers that come from the sexualised media and its messages.

Paul says “test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil” (1 Thes 5 v 21 ESV).  We must test and distinguish between good and bad representation of sex in the media, rejoice in the good but abstain from following the bad.

Paul says ‘“I have the right to do anything,” you say – but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”– but not everything is constructive.’ (1 Cor 10 v 23).  As we test the messages we get from the media, we must be careful to decide whether they are biblical and should be accepted and followed or not.  If it causes sin or lust we must cut it out.  Even if something is not actually sinful it may not individually be helpful for us; it may tempt us in an area in which we are weak, and so again we must cut it out.

Question
Can you think of some positive representations of sex in the media?


5.       Being free from the guilt of sexual sin

It is extremely difficult to navigate this world without falling short of God’s standards and failing sexually in some way or other.  The Bible reminds us that we all fall short of God’s standards and sin (Rom 3 v 23).  We will all have looked at something we shouldn’t have or lusted in some way.  Some of us will have turned a blind eye to what our children are watching, or gone too far in a relationship, engaged with porn, betrayed people, had secret lives, had affairs, hurt people or done things we regret.

Satan is our accuser and taunts us with our past mistakes (Rev 12 v 10).  But Jesus promises that if we confess our sins He is faithful and just and will forgive us and cleanse us (1 Jn 1 v 9).  When we think about forgiveness we may feel like saying “But you have no idea what I have done!”  But God says to us “You have no idea what I have done!”  He died a horrific death on the cross to bear our sins, to take our punishment, and to make us clean.
Having confessed our sin, like Paul ‘the chief of sinners’, we must forget the past and press forward in our amazing journey with God (Phil 3 v 13).

Question:
Where in your life do you have a guilty conscience – relating to sexuality or not? 
Silently confess you sins, and believe that He is faithful and just and will forgive your sins.

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